Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
