I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
You left your underwear on the fireplace
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
