I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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