you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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