is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
