How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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