Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
false alarm, still single
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
