He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
