I wannas sexs uuuuu
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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