So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
