then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
