but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
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