FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
My day in three words: secret purse cake
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Randomize
