She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
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