Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
