doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize