her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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