Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Four minutes until I can fart!
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
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