In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
