Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
This house was built for laser tag.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
