Nicole vs. Life
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
