I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
