The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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