what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
