i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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