She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
