Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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