I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
