Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
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