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• (562): View more from California

  I wanna eat

  (562): View more from California

  then frost

  (562): View more from California

  then eat your cupcake

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  He felt like a one man threesome

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (443): View more from Maryland

  Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway

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• (914): View more from New York

  all she had left on were here heels. phone five

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.

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• (805): View more from California

  I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.

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• 

  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (919): View more from North Carolina

  I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.

  (219): View more from Indiana

  I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said

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• (310): View more from California

  I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected

  (1-310): View more from California

  Only you would come out as bi like that

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.

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• (253): View more from Washington

  There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked

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