i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Randomize
