Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie