Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.