Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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