spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....