And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
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at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
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As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.