There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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