i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize