toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
