goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
