Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize