so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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