the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
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