are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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