puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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