Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
