Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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