They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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