My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Randomize
