R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
