Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
