I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
