just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
