Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
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i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
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No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
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