brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
