It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
