Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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