CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
