dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
