you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
