There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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