The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
please come you make the beer taste better
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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