They should really pass out barf bags in church
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
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we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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